Kjellquist Blog

I just purchased a book called “Geek Logik” that breaks life questions
down into a series of equations. Here is the one for us – Should you
pursue an interest in extreme sports? An extreme sport is – Any
activity that requires hurtling through the air while acting cool and
which may result in dismemberment and/or demise. I think we qualify.

Some comments from the book before I provide the equation. The vertical lines around 50A-A² in the equation mean to take this quantities absolute value. IF 50A-A²
comes out negative, just take away the minus sign. This creates a zero
chance of pursuing an extreme sport if you are exactly fifty years old.
Your chances increase in both directions from this point, however
assuming that if you are younger than fifty your bones will knit more
quickly and if you are older than fifty you have already had a full
life. If you are an especially feisty fifty-year-old, you can add 5 to
the terms between the absolute value lines, making this section of the
equation 50A – A² + 5.
Also taken into account is your
IQ, which in general detracts from your ability to participate in
extreme sports unless you are able to achieve a reasonable level of intentional stupidity.
Intentional stupid people able to do things like, say, leap into
Jackson Hole’s Corbett’s Couloir going 50 mph on two sticks of
fiberglass.
Now for the equation H I_s |50A-A²| / W I_q (C + 1) = E_xtreme

I_q is your estimated IQ 100 is average, 130 means you know better, 70 means you should consider pursuing motorcycle jumping.
I_s is your appreciation of intentional stupidity (1-10 with 10 being “just rewatched Mel Brook’s Spaceballs and found it a pithy reflection of today’s society”)
C is number of children you have under age 18
H is your height in inches
W is your weight in pounds
A is your age

If E_xtreme is greater than 1, throw caution to the wind

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